How long before your luck runs out?!

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The Secret Circle came back with a bang this week! As in, bang bang, you’re dead! Find out who bit it, who got really smart, and who really screwed destiny with my “Lucky” Review! Here’s what happened this week:

Remember when Faye burnt down the gym? Despite Chance Harbor’s booming witch population, no one’s decided to magic away the damage yet. That’s not cool, guys! Witchcraft does not excuse anyone from civil responsibility! Still, we’re glad that the school decided to raise gym-fixing cash by throwing an ultra-glam Casino Night fundraiser (featuring booze!) because big parties = big drama.

Oh, and also,whatever Melissa’s been doing on her out-of-town trips appears to be working. Every time she opened her mouth this week, she laid down the ‘Smack down of Truth’. Diana needed to get out more! Faye needed to go after what she wanted! Jake needed to stop mooning over Cassie! I don’t know what’s gotten into Melissa but I like it!

This week, Blackwell claims he wants to protect Cassie as they bond over some black coffee (“the blacker the better!”), and she takes the opportunity to grill him about her childhood. Blackwell admits that he used to be completely evil, and warns Cassie not to use dark magic lest she go crazy. To spite him, she bends a cup with her mind. Sigh, just like Keanu!

After hanging with her pops, Cassie heads over to the coffee joint for her shift and chats with the Circle about how lucky she is to have her dad back. (As Britney Spears would say: She’s so lucky, she’s a star, but she cry cry cries in her lonely heart.) Clearly, more investigating needs to be done about what John Blackwell wants, so Cassie wanders over to the clubhouse only to find him trolling around suspiciously. It seems like Blackwell is looking for something, but we were slightly too distracted by the way he turned over a table in a fit of rage to notice what it was. Move over Jake, you officially have competition.

Meanwhile, Adam and Cassie are head-over-“the stars” in love with each other, but Adam doesn’t trust John Blackwell. He’s convinced that John is trying to locate a Sway that Nick found in the clubhouse before the Circle was formed. So, what’s a Sway? Oh, just a magical device that drains other witches of their powers. When Cassie confronts her dad, he explains that the Sway temporarily harnesses power so muggles can use it. Apparently, it’s how Eben killed everyone 16 years ago!

We’re thrilled that Adam and Cassie have embraced their astrological fate, but what about Diana “Forever Alone” Meade ? Poor girl is in desperate need of a makeout sesh, so Melissa encourages her to date a “normal” guy. Melissa and Diana head to The Boathouse to pick up supplies for Chance Harbor High’s Casino Night, and they meet Grant, a random hunk/professional wine connoisseur who has his eye on Diana. Melissa invites him to the party, but sadly Grant’s boating out of town (presumably to break in a new polo shirt) and can’t come. Oh well, at least Diana got to flirt with something other than Adam’s discarded eyelashes.

And you know how Faye hates when things don’t go her way? Just imagine how pissed she was when she discovered that Lee’s ex-girlfriend Eva was not only alive, but still very much in love with him. Lee joins Faye on the dance floor for some real talk, and their argument about Eva quickly turns into a makeout session. Yes, please! Unfortunately, Evil Eva walks in mid-kiss and calls Faye a “coping mechanism.” Ouch, Eva better watch her back — we’ve seen Faye kill before and it ain’t pretty. (Nope, we haven’t forgotten you, Sally Matthews!) Faye was able to steal a kiss from him at Casino Night — thanks to her own brand of natural lady magic — but the after-party wasn’t quite as much fun. Eva put a nasty little spell on Lee that appeared to suspend him in some sort of full-body cocoon, or it’s also possible she killed him. I guess we’ll have to wait and see!

We grieved the loss of Lee and his hotness, but the arrival new boy Grant helped to ease our pain. He sauntered into town on his yacht and proceeded to court the bejeezus out of Diana with his awesome Aussie accent and general air of adorableness. She tried to play it cool but she was falling for him big time. I support Diana getting back into the dating game but I’m a little concerned about Grant. He wears a lot of layers, which probably means he has something to hide. Or maybe he has a thyroid problem. I’m totally cool with that, by the way. Diana’s in her party planning element, and is thrilled when Grant shows up with a wad of gambling money. They proceed to flirt all night, and Grant even buys Diana a stuffed monkey, which prompts her to lay a kiss on him when they say goodnight. Awwww! In other news,

Meanwhile, Cassie’s convinced that Ethan’s a traitor, and she ends up having a huge fight with Adam after revealing her theory. As Adam storms off, Cassie heads over to Jake’s apartment to complain, and as soon as she leaves he rats her out to John Blackwell. Way to narc on your crush, Jake.

Blackwell rushes over to the school to find Ethan, but runs into Dawn instead and they have an intimate reunion by some unsuspecting lockers. Dawn is clearly infatuated with Blackwell, and she breathily asks him to join in her evil quest for power. Unfortunately, Blackwell is busy searching for Ethan, so he slams Dawn up against a locker and swaggers down the hallway with his signature overcoat billowing behind him. Why do we get the feeling Dawn will be downing a cauldron of wine later?

As Blackwell leaves the party fresh outta luck, Cassie runs after him and catches up just in time to see him get stabbed by Ethan. Naturally, Cassie chases Ethan through the school football field and almost bludgeons him to death before Blackwell stops her. That’s right, Ethan is a traitor — or is he? Blackwell convinces Cassie that Ethan simply has a case of the jellies, but then he heads over to Ethan’s wine cellar, where Ethan promptly admits to working for the witch hunters.

Blackwell promises to keep Ethan’s secret, but only if Ethan keeps Cassie’s dark magic to himself. Poor Ethan is desperate to have the last word, so he tells Blackwell how much Amelia hated him and then goes off on yet another tangent about how Cassie and Adam are written in the stars. Wrong again, Ethan. According to Blackwell, the Blakes and the Conants are cursed! Hmmm, now that we think of it, maybe it makes sense that Blackwell asked Cassie not to do magic anymore. No good can come of it….

Meanwhile, Adam heads over to Cassie’s house, drops the L-word (which she doesn’t return, awkward), grabs her butt, strips off his shirt, and they proceed to have crazy sex while a bunch of creepy birds land on Cassie’ roof. Just take a moment to process it.

In other news, Lee heads home to break up with Eva, only to find her fatal attraction-style crazy. She also seems to have magical powers as a by-product of waking up from her coma, and promptly turns Lee into a dead old man with her mind. Apparently, if she can’t have him, neither can Faye. Sigh, time to pour some diet coke out for our fallen homie. Give Nick a high-five when you get to stud heaven, Lee! Prepare to shed a studly tear, because the vice-president of Chance Harbor’s hunk-squad has been taken from us!

Addict Verdict: Darkness is upon us! The Secret Circle is clearly not afraid of handling dead bodies on regular basis! Only time will tell how far this deliberation takes us!

Fix-Your-Eyes-On-Me Scene: The hot steamy sex complimented with the creepy crows circling the Blake Mansion, makes for quite awaited scene!

Return of The (Witch) King?!

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The day we’ve been waiting for has finally arrived: John Blackwell is back in Chance Harbor. Sure, he’s rumored to be the most evil wizard this side of Hogwarts, but…

This time on The Secret Circle, Cassie is stunned when a notoriously evil figure from her past shows up on her doorstep. However, her surprise quickly turns to suspicion when, he asks her to return the medallion she found in the wreckage of the fire that killed her parents. Cassie storms off but is captured by Eben and his gang of witch hunters. Jake offers to trade himself for Cassie’s freedom and when Adam realises they’re in trouble, he calls the Circle. Meanwhile, Faye and Diana are concerned when Melissa starts spending more time with Callum!

I’ve got to say, John Blackwell looks pretty good for a guy who’s been presumed dead for more than a decade. Cassie’s old man finally showed his face on “Return“, and it took less than an hour for her to try to kill him. (Is it just me, or does every girl on The CW have crippling daddy issues?)

But let’s back up a wee bit: After last week’s run-in with ghosts and possessed demons, Cassie needs some well-deserved alone time. She tells Diana that Grandma Jane is coming back from her “zen retreat” (read. yeah, right!), but when Cassie gets home from Diana’s house, she has a studly surprise waiting for her: Jake Armstrong. Jake warns Cassie that witch-hunters have sprinkled her house with ash and salt, but despite the warning signs, Cassie ignores his advice. After all, there are more important things at hand – like John Blackwell!

If you thought Cassie’s reunion with daddy dearest would be magical, you were right on. Blackwell shows up at Cassie’s house and Cassie proceeds to open the front door with her mind (Atta Girl). After a few moody pleasantries and studly gazes, he tells Cassie that she’s in danger, asks her to keep quiet about his reappearance, and goes back from wherever he came. But why is Blackwell in Chance Harbor, anyway? Sure, his hand erupted in a crazy blister the second Cassie activated his man jewelry, but Adam’s worried Blackwell has ulterior motives, and for once, we agree.

Apparently, when Cassie isn’t busy being a teenage witch, she spends her time waitressing at “Java Brew,” Chance Harbor’s trendiest coffee shop. Cassie’s most popular clientele consist of Faye and Melissa, who get an unwelcome surprise when Callum wanders in and asks them to a party. Faye has no interest in Callum’s coffee shop come-ons, but Melissa heads to his soiree despite her besties’ misgivings. Faye and Diana decide to run an intervention on Melissa, so they visit Lee, who’s doing what he does best: hangin’ with his creepy comatose girlfriend (what’s up with that?). Lee tells Faye and Diana that Callum practices “evil left juju” (his words), and the three of them head to the party before he can cause any trouble.

Meanwhile, Cassie heads down to the docks to meet up with her dad, and he makes the mistake of asking for the medallion. Despite being witch-napped and held hostage on multiple occasions, Cassie storms off in a tearful huff and – surprise, surprise – gets herself captured by Eben. He and his witch-hunter cronies tie Cassie to a chair, cover her with some ashy salt, and drip weird fluid into her eyes and mouth. Grossly Creepy!!

So, Callum’s party can only be described as a ‘90s rave – complete with hookahs, crazy dancing, pits of fire, and greasy hair. But Melissa’s having a great time, especially when she and Callum cuddle up on some cushy couches and proceed to give each other voodoo doll spell-gasms. Yep, you read that right. Just slap a voodoo doll between your hands until you feel that “surge.” Sadly, the fun stops there. Callum locks Melissa in a private room after he discovers that she’s a witch, but she escapes the clutches of his power-stealing voodoo doll in the nick of time. Luckily, Melissa meets up with Faye and Diana and the three of them book it out of the party before things get too creepy – but not before Melissa warns Faye not to trust Lee’s voodoo Valentine!

Meanwhile, John Blackwell is hanging in the clubhouse when Jack runs in screaming Cassie’s name. They have a brief-yet-studly bonding moment, and then Jake sneaks off to Eben’s boat in the hopes that he can trade Cassie for her pops! Blackwell falls right into Jake’s trap, and after a quick pit-stop at the Boathouse (Hello, Ethan!), they wander into the middle of the forest to make the trade. The catch? Eben wants to take Jake prisoner instead of Blackwell!

Over at the boathouse, Adam gathers the Circle to save Cassie, and they rush to the forest only to find Jake – about to be murdered by Eben. The Circle use their collective power to impale Eben on a tree branch, but then his body disappears and in a creepy and mysterious display of magic. Meanwhile, Cassie accidentally ignites her dad on fire because she’s been “hypnotized” to kill him, but the Circle save the day once again with a spontaneous slam poetry session. Phew! After the night’s events, Blackwell and Cassie bond over the fact that his magical powers were stripped, and she tells him that the medallion is destroyed. Blackwell vows to stay in Chance Harbor to protect Cassie, but we have a feeling he has other reasons for sticking around…

Finally, the ad interim montage: First, Lee sneaks into Faye’s window to makeout while his creepy comatose girlfriend wakes up across town; then John Blackwell visits Jake to strike a deal about keeping Cassie safe; and finally Adam and Cass snuggle at the Boathouse. It’s all so beautiful! But that might just be JMSN’s Fallin playing with our emotions.

Do you think Lee and his scruffy buddies are up to no good, like Melissa suspected? How much longer can John survive in Chance Harbor? And what will you do between now and March 15 to occupy your witch-less Thursdays? Yeah, that’s right, no guilty wicked treats till March 15…*sigh*!

Addict Verdict: The warlock might have returned, but, why did he come back?! There could have been more fire, not we didn’t witness enough, just saying’!

Fix-Your-Eyes-On-Me Scene: Finally, Melissa stood up for herself! It was really good to see Melissa having some principles, one that involved spell-gasms with Callum, and then, threatening him! Oh My, Jessica Parker Kennedy, what did you say to the writers?!!

Oh My Wicked, Oh My Wicked, Valentine!

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Valentine’s Day has come to The Secret Circle, and you know what that means! Love is in the air and it’s making everyone nauseous. Time to binge on some heart-shaped chocolates, cry into an empty Kay Jewelry box, and pretend that Jake is your boyfriend. But don’t forget that romance is deadly in Chance Harbor, and not everyone makes it out of this episode with their guy-liner intact…

In honor of the holiday, Faye and Melissa place a girls only anti-Valentine’s Day slumber party for fellow witches Diana and Cassie. But the night gets wilder than expected as soon as Melissa offers Diana a number of mood altering “Devil’s Spirit” and the first person Diana loosens up to is Lee (ooo….Grey Damon!!), who crashes the party to assist Faye achieve her very own power. Meanwhile, Cassie is forced to show to Adam and Mack after she becomes haunted from the spirits of some vengeful witches.

Like most single ladies, the fem-witches of Chance Harbor hate Valentine’s Day. Especially Faye. But honestly, we don’t know what Faye’s complaining about. If we got to share a bed with Jake and his boxer-briefs, we’d be thrilled. BTW, For those of you who looked at Jake and wondered “boxers or briefs,” wonder no more!! After a morning of Armstrong-induced sextacy, Faye decides to give Cupid the middle finger by hosting a girly slumber party, complete with pillow-fights and experimental makeout sessions, and heads to school to invite the gals to her party, but Cassie interrupts their convo because she’s forgotten a book in her car. She frantically runs to the parking lot to find it, avoids Adam’s tearful questions about Valentine’s Day along the way, and then fails to notice that a creepy hooded figure is peeping on her. What the whaaa?

After school, Cassie heads down to the clubhouse basement clearly, her favorite hang spot, and this time, comes face-to-face with the ominous cape-man. Naturally, she screams hysterically and flails around until she runs into Adam, who tries his best to save the day. Adam skips downstairs with Cassie, and – not-so-surprisingly – they find the basement totally devoid of pervs.

Once she ditches Adam, Cassie rushes over to Jake’s house to ask about a strange symbol that she noticed on the figure’s robe, and he mentions that it’s the sign of the Nidaros Coven –– an ancient circle who died years ago. Oh,DAMN, Cassie’s totally being haunted by spirits living in her man-jewelry!

After a day of “studying”, Faye heads home to find Lee at her front door with a present from his travels. It’s only the most romantic gift ever: A terrifying voodoo stick with beaded eyes. *sigh* Someone loves crafting! Unfortunately, Diana accidentally breaks the stick while she’s unpacking her slumber party bag, and Faye is so pissed that Di and Melissa have to get high just to deal with her wrath.Definitely, somewhere Cupid is shaking his head in horror.

Now that Dilissa are blazed on Devil’s Spirit, first thing’s first: pizza. A true sleepover isn’t complete without greasy junk food, so the gang orders some grub and conjures up a spell to turn the delivery guy into a hottie. But who should show up instead? Lee! In her toked-up state, Diana promptly plants a kiss on his lips. Wait, why is Lee at Faye’s house? This party is supposed to be all about “feeling the rain on their skin” and worshiping Alanis Morisette, but boyfriend just wants to help Faye fix her broken voodoo doll. No big deal.

Once Lee leaves, Cassie joins the party (buzz kill alert!) and the fab four settle down for a fun night with a Ouija board. Let the games begin! Of course, talking to the dead is always better when a man-necklace is involved, so Cassie busts out her dad’s medallion and places it on the board, where it promptly spells the word “SACRED”. Sacred Witch? Sacred Coven? Sacred Circle? Sacred Jake Armstrong hook-up?

Welcome back to Isaac, who makes his triumphant return to town in order to warn Jake that Cassie’s medallion was used by Blackwell to kill the Nidaros clan. Turns out Cassie will die unless she gives up her “precious,” and Isaac wants the medallion for himself. Basically Isaac’s the Gollum to Cassie’s Frodo. DAMN I’m seriously ROFLMAO on my own imagination!

Jake drops by Faye’s house to warn Cass about the medallion, but unfortunately, she’s driving to Adam’s pad for a night of Arcade Fire mix-tapes. As Cassie heads down a deserted road, she passes a hooded figure who looks hauntingly like Darth Vader, only with cloth robes instead of metal ones – but it’s just another ghost meandering in a field. Unfortch, the medallion begins to death-grip Cassie just as she drives by this eerie figure, and she flips her car! Nooooo, Cassie! So, Jake and Adam drive to the middle of nowhere (witch GPS?!), find Cassie’s car abandoned on the side of the road, and tearfully realize that the Nidaros likely led her to the church where they were killed.

Cut to Cassie, who’s wandering around the forest in a snowstorm, trying to make contact with the random ghost people she’s befriended. These homies lead Cass to the “Sacred” Heart Church, where they proceed to surround her in the creepiest way ever. Well, don’t worry guys, because Adam has a switch blade! Of course, it turns out to be completely useless and he goes ahead and gets himself possessed. So. Much. Eyelash fluttering. Zombie Adam wanders toward Cassie, slitting his wrists and smiling like a crazy person in the process, while Jake feverishly yells for Cassie to stand her ground. So what does home girl do? She crushes the medallion in her hands and our beautiful angel Adam comes back into the world. RIP zombie Adam, see you in my fantasies later tonight…

After a long day of watching possessed hipsters cry, Jake heads over to meet Isaac and gives him what remains of the medallion. They have a bitter exchange about what Isaac really wants, and somehow we get the feeling that this isn’t the last we’ll see of Jake’s surrogate father. Meanwhile, Adam and Cassie head to the boathouse despite the fact that Adam’s wrists are slit, and they share an intimate kiss while we marvel at the fact that Adam put up a “Happy Valentine’s Day” banner. Oh, boyfriend!!

So how are Melissa and the gang doing? They’re totally high and having seizures. Yep, Melissa overdoses on “the herb,” which gives Faye and Diana a great opportunity to bond. Oh, and if you’re wondering about Faye’s voodoo doll, turns out Lee has an identical one which he’s secretly rubbing all up in his comatose girlfriend’s face. Is Lee stealing Faye’s powers?

Addict Verdict: Need some Valium to watch this “Valentine”, because the creepily boring creepiness is too much for my covenant brain!

Fix-Your-Eyes-On-Me Scene: The scene when Cassie goes all Claire-Bennet after her car tumbles, she gets out with not a single scratch on her, or maybe she’s really good at hiding it, which I highly doubt!

PS: If you’re worried about John Blackwell, don’t be, He’s currently lurking by a creek with a giant medallion-shaped burn on his hand. Hope to see your face next week, John!