I’ll tell you what I’m doing here, Ho-Bag!

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I don’t know about you, but I personally think the episode title of this week’s “Ringer” is among the best episode titles to ever exist in the history of television. It is one those very rare shows that can work ‘ho-bag’ into an episode title.

This week, Juliet’s mother Catherine arrives in town, where she proceeds to wreak havoc on Andrew and Bridget’s relationship. Siobhan is unknowingly leaving clues behind for Bridget, and this time around the fake Siobhan decides to try to piece together the pieces that her sister left behind. Meanwhile, Henry discovers a lead that causes Agent Machado to think he is closing in on Bridget.

So because I was such a big fan, I waited all episode to hear what would prompt that infamous sentence. Would Bridget and Siobhan finally face off? Would it be Bridget finally losing her temper with Andrew’s first wife? Perhaps it would be Agent Pretty Eyes who would utter the phrase, finally pushed to his breaking point. I should have known that the show would make us wait the entire episode for that glorious line of dialogue. God bless you and your vocabulary Juliet. And I want to thank the writers of “Ringer” for creating such a great title that it almost overshadowed everything else in the episode.

From the moment she’s first glimpsed, sipping a glass of red wine while soaking in a bubble bath, Catherine is great fun. She’s a ridiculous cliché of a character – a soap opera uber-bitch who spouts lines like, “I’m having a funeral for my daughter – the slut!” – but she’s certainly entertaining. Catherine’s arrival also gives Bridget more to do than the usual sneaking-around-while-looking-concerned, “Juliet’s biggest problem in life is suffering through with your pathetic DNA!”, spits Bridget. Apparently Catherine viewed her child as a fun shopping partner but not much more, which led to a great bonding moment between Juliet and Bridget. “So, your Mom was a bitch too?” That one line brought them closer than all the hugs and heartfelt talks ever could.

Bridget continues to get ever closer to the trail Siobhan has unknowingly left behind for her. This week, Bridget decides to go all out “Veronica Mars” to try to put the pieces of her sister’s wacky life together. What also surprised me is how oddly competent Bridget has become since “Ringer” returned from its winter hiatus. Now she’s unknowingly closing in on her sister’s secrets with a level of intelligence I was just waiting to see. I mean she still blew things off relatively easy, like how the car company driver initially asked her if she was packing heat and only later offered up information about taking Siobhan to Wyoming. Who cares about the fact that Siobhan might also be mixed up in Bridget’s murder problems? Where was Siobhan going on a regular basis with a gun? Did I just miss that one? Is she part of a shooting club or does she just occasionally go out and murder hobos for the fun of it? With Siobhan anything is basically possible.

Speaking of big secrets being revealed, it looks like Henry finally knows that Siobhan and Bridget are both occupying the same city. Why did Siobhan show her hand now though? Does she have some plot that involves Henry, since it seems that she’s still keeping Tyler on the line back in Paris? I feel like the writers want us to feel something for Siobhan and Henry but all I feel is apathy.Oh, and he also learns that the real Siobhan is still pregnant with his child. For once, the gormless look on Henry’s face is justified. It’s a smart move, at this first season’s half-way point, to start moving the story forward – we’re intrigued to see what Henry will do with this new information..

In the other big storyline of the episode, Juliet’s mother comes to visit to support her during her teacher rape scandal. Her mother is a truly terrible person, so it looks like Andrew’s type is officially soulless blondes. Juliet’s principal makes a house call about the charges against Mr. Carpenter, explaining that they found a surveillance tape of Juliet hitting on Mr. Carpenter in a bad way. This, apparently, is going to taint the waters when it comes to Mr. Carpenter’s rape charges. Turns out that there’s video evidence showing Juliet hitting on Mr. Carpenter which seems to mean that Mr. Carpenter could never have raped Juliet because apparently she asked for it by flirting? WTF, Nicole Snyder? WTF Eric Charmelo?

“Every time you two get together, it’s combustible!” Andrew yells at Bridget and Catherine, and a few scenes later, he tosses his sozzled ex-wife out, throwing money at her for a hotel and yelling, “I don’t care if you’ve got a brain tumour – I want you out!” AMAZING.

From there things get a lot grosser and there’s a ton of victim-blaming because no one can ever imagine that a rape can occur after a girl hits on a guy. Juliet’s mother is the worst of the lot, calling her daughter a slut, questioning the rape and then burning baby pictures for dramatic effect. Juliet’s mother is the real ho-bag of the episode, yet Bridget somehow manages not to pull another “Buffy” and punch her in the face.

One character who’s drastically lacking in new information is Machado. At one point this week, he draws up bullet points on a notepad, compiling the information he’s uncovered so far, and it’s telling that he only manages about five sentences. Even traitorous agent Jimmy sticks the knife in when Machado visits him in prison, speaking for the viewer as he taunts, “You’re no closer to Bodaway Macawi than you were six months ago – it’s pathetic.”

As the episode ends the ho-bag in question finally appears: Juliet’s poor arch-nemesis, Tessa turns up at the apartment, claiming that she too was assaulted by ‘Mr C’ – it now appears that Carpenter may in fact be guilty or at the very least that there’s more to the case than meets the eye…

Overall, this week’s Ringer is a return to form after the somewhat mundane mid-season premiere. ‘What Are You Doing Here, Ho-Bag?’ is pleasingly silly with plenty of twists – see Henry and Machado both becoming briefly convinced that the real Siobhan is actually her twin – and a game-changing final twist.

Addict Verdict: Ringer is one crazy word jumble, and like any addictive game, I can’t stop trying to figure it out.

Beauty & A Beastly Move…!

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Hey Guys,

Beauty And The Beast is being reinvented by not one, but, TWO Broadcast stations! Read on..!

Disney-owned ABC is staying in a fairytale mode after spellbinding its audience with Once Upon A Time, by ordering a pilot about the all time favorite fairy-tale Beauty and the Beast in development for next season. Written by Jericho co-creator Jonathan E. Steinberg, the drama project is described as an epic fantasy re-imagining of the classic Beauty and the Beast tale. Steinberg is executive producing Beauty and the Beast with Mojo Films’ Gary Fleder and Mary Beth Basile for ABC Studios. It is eyed as a potential companion for Once Upon A Time in the Sunday 9 PM slot. BothOnce Upon A Time and Beauty And The Beast feature characters from classic Disney movies, including Snow White, Prince Charming, Belle and the Beast. Steinberg most recently developed FOX’s drama Human Target based on the comic book.

Also, if that does not get your juices flowing with have the second adaptation,

Sources confirm to TVLine exclusively that CBS Television Studios has ordered the pilot for a reboot of the ’80s cult classic Beauty and the Beast for The CW. The new version will not only modernize and CW-up the love story but also add a procedural twist. Without a Trace vet Jennifer Levin and Brothers & Sisters’ Sherri Cooper will pen the script and serve as executive producers along with the creator of the original series Ron Koslow; Paul Junger Witt and C. Anthony Thomas of Witt/Thomas Prods, which co-produced the 1980s series; and Bill Haber.

Side note: This B&B is not to be confused with the B&B pilot that ABC is developing for next season.

  

One thing we can be certain of is,
One of them will come out a Beauty, while the other turns out to be BEASTLY! LOL

Hell’s Belles are ringing, Ding Dong!

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For all the blissfully ignorant cynics out there, here’s a little recap of what Hart of Dixie is all about:

Sarcastic, witty and fast-talking New Yorker and completely new doctor Zoe Hart (Rachel Bilson IS BACK!!!) has it all figured out – right after graduating top of her class from med school, she’ll follow in her father’s footsteps and turn into a cardio-thoracic surgeon. But when her dreams sink right down the gutter, Zoe decides to accept an offer from the stranger, Dr. Harley Wilkes, to work with him or her at his small practice in Bluebell, Alabama. Zoe arrives in this small Gulf Coast town simply to find that Harley has perished (huh?!) and left his half of the medical practice to her in his will (HUH?!).

Zoe quickly finds that Southern hospitality isn’t exactly quite so hospitable, in fact, quite the opposite of hospitable, HOSTILE!!! (*sigh* Enough Ho’s in one sentence) – the other doctor in town, Brick Breeland, is less than happy to be sharing the practice with this peculiar young outsider, and his daughter, Lemon, a Southern belle , whose sweet disposition turns sour when she meets Zoe. Zoe’s only allies will be the mayor, former football star Lavon Hayes, her bad-boy neighbor (who she accidently makes out with in her drunken haze, in the back seat of his car…LMAO!) Wade Kinsella, and handsome lawyer George Tucker – who just has become Lemon’s fiance. Zoe after coming to the conclusion that she does not belong in Bluebell, begins to pack her bags, but a surprise stop by her snobby Big Apple mother leads to Zoe’s decision to stay in Bluebell for a while, discovering a side of herself she hadn’t known was there.

For the record, Zoe Hart is a far braver human being than I am. Not only did she not scream like a 12-year old girl at the sight of a mouse, she actively pursued its capture. But Zoe’s rodent hunt was only the beginning of her aggressive behavior on “Hell’s Belles,” as our favorite southern doctor made it her mission to dig into her past, The discovery led to moments both funny and revealing.

It’s almost difficult to remember that Zoe ended up in Bluebell because she couldn’t land a residency in New York without improving her bedside manner. This was only meant to be a one-year sabbatical before returning to her preferred life up north… but Zoe immediately started talking about living up to the expectations of her birth father, as opposed to working to achieve her goal of a career in The Big Apple, and I just don’t buy it.

So I’m glad the show sort of hit the reset button here. It makes perfect sense that Zoe would feel lost in Alabama, uprooted from everything she knows and everything she had believed about herself. Brick actually delivered a nice speech to motivate his pupil/co-worker/enemy at the outset (Before you try and fit in, find out where you fit in) and it was a welcome step for Zoe to take some time to dig into her past.

From the mere sight of Zoe in that dress; to her comparison of Fort Lauderdale to heaven; to the joke about the town eunuch between Wade and Lavon; to Zoe asking if the town is permitted to discuss “feminine products” out loud. The episode was filled with great, hilarious moments all along.

As they say in real life, you can’t truly love someone until you love yourself. It’s similar on television. You can’t truly love a couple until you know each individual well on his/her own and that’s exactly what we were treated to here.

Wade used to be a hot guy who rarely wears a shirt and often cracks wise. But, it was refreshing to take a deeper look into his family. Wade’s relationship with his father clearly plays a role in how he develops relationships with others, explaining why he’s more apt to make a sarcastic crack than really open up. The guy didn’t exactly grow up in a loving household – but maybe it’s not too late to change that.

Finally, we come to Lemon, who was also forced to explore her background this week and how it’s shaped her treatment of those around her. I’d say this was the best job yet the show has done at softening the character and making her somewhat believable, but it may be too late for me. All the Bluebell women just come across as one-note stereotypes.

Overall, though, a very welcome return to Bluebell. If Zoe feels like a mystery novel with the final chapter torn out, this episode went a long way toward writing one that is both funny and moving.

Watch out for the song she has to sing as a part of her Belle Initiation:

“I’m a Belle, a Southern Belle, a ‘Bama Belle, a Dixie Belle, and I got secrets I won’t tell. If y’all don’t like it, go to hell-o, soldier, what’s your pleasure?”

Addict Verdict: Funny ‘Dis’Appointment with the Doctor!

Fix-Your-Eyes-On-Me Scene: When Zoe Hart is being chased by Lemon’s minions, in the traditional Belle costume! Seriously LOL!

Hey guys, check this out, it will have you ROFL!!!

Sex And The Class?!

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Oh, Yes!!!
Get “Carrie”-ed away to High School, replacing hot hunks with sexy studs, and martinis for slushes(?!)!

Carrie Bradshaw could be heading back to school AND to television.

 The CW has ordered a pilot for “The Carrie Diaries,” Entertainment Weekly has confirmed. “The Carrie Diaries” book series from Candace Bushnell, centers on Carrie Bradshaw during her senior year of high school in the early 1980s as she asks her first questions about love, sex, friendship and family while navigating the worlds of high school and Manhattan. The first book in Bushnell’s origin story was published last year and, like Sex and the City, is told from Carrie’s point of view. It follows the aspiring writer through her relationship with Sebastian Kydd and rivalry with popular girl Donna La Donna. It is not clear if the new show would feature Carrie’s later-in-life “Sex and The City” best friends, including Samantha Jones, who was featured in “Summer and the City: A Carrie Diaries Novel,” or Miranda Hobbes, who was also in the book, which was released in April 2011.

But, how can we imagine Carrie without her “soul mates”?! I can’t! Can you?

 Gossip Girl and Hart of Dixie duo Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and Len Goldstein‘s Fake Empire Productions will executive produce alongside Warner Bros. Television. Former Sex and the City scribe/co-producer Amy B. Harris will adapt the book and serve as showrunner. This marks Fake Empire’s second pilot at the CW this season; it also co-produces Cult.

HBO owns the rights to the series, with corporate cousin the CW hearing the pitch in September and immediately committing to the project.

Melrose Place 3.0?!

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You got that right!
4616 Melrose Place  is yet again bought by The CW, this time nearing a deal to acquire upcoming Canadian soap The L.A. Complex. In addition to that, the network will produce 7 more episodes to the 6 already produced episodes, bringing the total to a 13-episode arc! Its predecessors, Melrose Place (1992) and Melrose Place (2009), are one of the few in the Beverly Hills, 90210 franchise, the latter was the network’s previous attempt at resurrecting the original FOX drama, but, ended up with the new show being cancelled after just 18 episodes!

In the spirit of Melrose Place, L.A. Complex revolves around twenty-somethings living in the same LA apartment complex as they try to make it in Tinseltown. The series features an international cast: Jonathan Patrick Moore (from Neighbors) as Connor, a breakout Australian with a dark past; Cassie Steele ( of Degrassi) as Abby, a Toronto girl ready to fight to get to the top in Hollywood; Joe Dinicol (from Life With Derek) as Nick, a nice-guy comedian; Chelan Simmons (of Kyle XY) as Alicia, a dancer who will do whatever it takes to make ends meet; and Benjamin Charles Watson (from Soul) as Tariq, a talented hip-hop artist from Montreal working as an intern.

Created by Canadian writer-producer Martin Gero, L.A. Complex is expected to be a key piece of a full-fledged summer original slate.

Only time will tell if an “international” cast is able to bring life back into 4616 Melrose Place!!!

Unleash the Darkness within…….!

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Its time to bundle up your gifts and become a part of the guiltiest circle on television. Yes, that’s right, Its the highly awaited winter premiere of The Secret Circle! Rightfully, titled “Darkness“, this episode revolves around how Cassie Blake (the New-in-town-and-stirs-up-trouble girl) need to come to terms with her evil side, in order to follow her lineage, yeah, she come from a long line of Dark Wizards, viz., the Balcoins, starting with Francis Balcoin, which later became the Blackwells, John Blackwell, Cassie’s father.

Enough with the sounds-so-familiar-yet-so-unknown lineage, now, lets start with the opening. Here we have Jake, doing a very Edward-Cullen-esque type sneak-into-the-bedroom-when-she-is-sleeping thing. But, the problem with this dream sequence is that, Jake ends up choking on his own blood, courtesy, Cassie Blake’s “Dark Powers”! (FYI, that’s definitely not the way I dream of Jake at night!)

Also, that choking out blood stuff was not just limited to her dreamworld, No, quote Faye, “She almost choked Adam to his death using her MIND!” Oh, and, It gets better, not only does she find out more about her lineage, Cassie even learns how to control her “powers’, courtesy, Diana’s Grandmother, the fairy godmother with a bad motive! C’MON, She tried to kill Cassie,  believing that her Dark Powers would go with her! First, she lures the poor girl into the woods promising her to get rid of the dark potential then, then, knocks her out and buries her ALIVE!!!

Now, Lets move to the other simultaneous  storyline, that of Faye, the-up-to-no-good Bee-Otch is back to her sinister self! And this time, she has Melissa join her in her shenanigans! Whilst hungry for individual power, Yes, She can’t use her powers since the circle was bound, she comes across Lee Lebaque, played by Gray Damon (Aashay flutters his eyes & reminisces The Nine Lives of Chloe King)! Lee appears to know quite about voodoo and magic, so says his blog…(HUH?!) But, au contraire, he’s just an imposter, and Faye only arrived at this conclusion after Lee got to second base with her!

Addict Verdict: Less Magic, More Talking! Leaves much to be expected!

Fix-Your-Eyes-On-Me-Scene: Cassie unleashes the darkness within her and releases herself from her captivity by exploding the wooden box she was trapped in, into the air!!!

The CW has a Cult following……!

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The CW, network behind the hit Tv shows like 90210, The Vampire Diaries & Supernatural has handed its first pilot order of the season to Cult, a drama that centers on a young female production assistant who grows suspicious after a rash of disappearances and possible murder seem tied to the show she works on, called Cult. She teams up with a journalist blogger to begin looking into the show’s rabid fans, who may be behind the actual crimes.

The show has been developed several times over the years at the networks — including ABC last year, the CW in 2009 and at the WB in 2006. The WB had even ordered the project up as a pilot starring Matt Bomer, but it was scrapped when The WB itself folded that year.

Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage and Len Goldstein will also executive produce with Rockne O’Bannon. Schwartz, Savage and Goldstein already produce The CW’s Gossip Girl and Hart of Dixie through their Fake Empire production company. Warner Bros. TV is the studio.